Of course, I could be wrong
I was listening to a book the other day and the author suggested that a good way to actually engage in conversation with people who have different ideas than ours is to say, "of course, I could be wrong." It really struck me, something that I would have to keep thinking about and seeing how I felt about that. What would it mean if on any issue on which I have an opinion, obviously thinking that I am correct, that I would express myself and also say, "of course, I could be wrong." If I were on the receiving end of that phrase wouldn't I be glad that they were open to that possibility and wouldn't it draw me in more to a real discussion?
The problem is that I can get very opinionated. Oh, I may cover that up better than some (or most, if I really am expressing my opinion here ;) but I still have deeply held thoughts that have become very important to me. I think I 'm right and so that means that others are wrong. We need to have right and wrong beliefs, there is a right and a wrong. But the question becomes, do I know it completely?
My Dad, who is now 92, told me sometime in the last decade or so that when he was younger he used to think that he was right 75-80% of the time. But now he thinks that he is right maybe 25% or so of the time, pretty much reversed. I remember thinking that he was probably still right most of the time but as I have thought about it the main thing is that he realized as he got older that he wasn't right as often as he once thought...and he was at peace with that. I find that interesting. It's not that we are wrong, it's growing to be at peace with not always being right.
Is it possible that I don't know everything about how it feels to be a doctor, a President, a mother, an orphan, a Republican/Democrat/Libertarian/Independent? Is there a chance that I don't know the answer to gender issues or race issues or sexual preferences? Do I miss the boat on how it feels to be an immigrant whether legal or not?
I think it is good to learn what we can and to have opinions. We need to strive to do right and avoid what is wrong. But if we are going to enter into the lives of others and open up real dialogue that builds true friendship and the opportunity for real life change, then we need to remember that sometimes we are the one who needs to change. Not always certainly but sometimes. Of course, I could be wrong.
The problem is that I can get very opinionated. Oh, I may cover that up better than some (or most, if I really am expressing my opinion here ;) but I still have deeply held thoughts that have become very important to me. I think I 'm right and so that means that others are wrong. We need to have right and wrong beliefs, there is a right and a wrong. But the question becomes, do I know it completely?
My Dad, who is now 92, told me sometime in the last decade or so that when he was younger he used to think that he was right 75-80% of the time. But now he thinks that he is right maybe 25% or so of the time, pretty much reversed. I remember thinking that he was probably still right most of the time but as I have thought about it the main thing is that he realized as he got older that he wasn't right as often as he once thought...and he was at peace with that. I find that interesting. It's not that we are wrong, it's growing to be at peace with not always being right.
Is it possible that I don't know everything about how it feels to be a doctor, a President, a mother, an orphan, a Republican/Democrat/Libertarian/Independent? Is there a chance that I don't know the answer to gender issues or race issues or sexual preferences? Do I miss the boat on how it feels to be an immigrant whether legal or not?
I think it is good to learn what we can and to have opinions. We need to strive to do right and avoid what is wrong. But if we are going to enter into the lives of others and open up real dialogue that builds true friendship and the opportunity for real life change, then we need to remember that sometimes we are the one who needs to change. Not always certainly but sometimes. Of course, I could be wrong.
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